You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
