im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
