that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
