I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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