How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
