Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I have demons in me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
