i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
