I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
