I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
