i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude i'm inner monologue high
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wear drunk well.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
