I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
