Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
