I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
