So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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