I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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