just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
