I skipped work to stalk him.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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