god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
