Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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