Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
where does the pee come out of this thing
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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