Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
