i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize