I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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