Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
