how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
