This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
