AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
