I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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