Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
