it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you win again, gameday.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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