return my video game
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
