nutella sex= disaster
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
