Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
