HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize