Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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