Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He felt like a one man threesome
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
