All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
