I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
