What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
