do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize