after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
