NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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