My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
