K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
