Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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