Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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