He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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