I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize