we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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