Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
