your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
