Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
