Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
