are you still at the devil's house?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
