I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
