i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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