Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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