My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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