Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
