I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
