Four minutes until I can fart!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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