I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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