me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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