just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
