I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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