This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
