So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
