so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
